1. That isn't really how necks work, but otherwise I see your point.



2. 2024: "President Logan Paul just dabbed his way to the White House!"



3. It's time for the Jedi...to end....their practice of suckin' out raw unpasteurized milk from gross anteater-goats.



4. Mayyybe you should have sent your ward to a regular school, Batman.



5. Other than the weird evolution of cyberbullying, I'm hopeful for modern tolerant teens.



6. The most inspiring thing you'll read all day.



7. The older I get, the fewer bands I've heard of.



8. Millennials are killing the headline industry.



9. They're even the same pale orange color he is.



10. Step up your game, Ferris Bueller.