90's kids everywhere remember Fruit String Thing! You especially, I bet. You big fat fatty. Oh man, you probably bought every box at the grocery store when you heard they were being discontinued. You totally did, didn't you.
Little tubby tubster misses Dunkaroos huh? You totally do. You flabby little fatty. Well they discontinued in the US back in 2012. Oh man, I bet you used to stick your finger right in that frosting and suck it right off.
Mr. Oreo O looks kinda familiar doesn't he? Looks quite a bit like you and that flabby little belly. Oreo O's were discontinued in 2007 everywhere, except South Korea. Hahahah but lord knows your chubby heiney isn't making its way all the way over there in this lifetime.
Just as gummy as your chubby lil tummy, Shark Bites are probably the closest thing to fruit you've ever put in that big baby mouth. Isn't that right? Baby like'a da sharkies?
Let's be honest, you haven't missed Bubble Jug. Something you're just gonna end up spitting out doesn't do you any good, does it?
Don't pretend like you haven't bookmarked the eBay listings for the 90s fruit juice Squeeze Its, hoping some collector somewhere in Des Moines held on to them so you could rocket them down your flabby gullet.
Until it was withdrawn from shelves in 1997, the fun of the Wonder Ball was that nobody knew exactly what they were gonna get inside. Many featured little candies of popular cartoon characters. Though I have a hunch yours mostly contained early onset type 2 diabetes.
Two dimensional Doritos just weren't enough for you were they? Lil Husky Huskerson needed Doritos to add a whole new DIMENSION to fill that plump baby tum tum. Well now you're stuck with regular ol' flat Doritos, cuz these inflated treats were discontinued in the mid 2000s. Go ahead. Cry. Cry, you chunky little baby.